Staying Friends With Your Ex ? It Helps The Kids And Can Benefit ...

Couple alert:? Ex?s can be friends, even best friends! ?Not only is it an advantage for you to keep good communication with your ex, it makes it easier for the kids by reducing their sense of split loyalties.? Surprisingly your ex can often provide an honest and experienced voice of support, encouragement and advice for life after you have split up.? However, like all relationship issues, it takes patience, good communication and sensitive handling.?? If it is too challenging to find the strength and clarity of perspective to build a friendship with your ex partner then it can be useful to seek help from a professional counselor or therapist.? By asking for help and taking advice to manage the situation in a way that respects the people involved, particularly any children, you can prevent future power struggles and conflicts.

Many people find it hard dealing with their ex?s new life after they have split up.? It can be particularly difficult to deal with an ex?s new partner or new relationship as it can stir up feelings of loss, envy and insecurity.? However, with some help and careful communication dealing with ex partners does not have to become a battlefield with the children used as ammunition.? One of the best ways to avoid the potential pitfalls when dealing with an ex partner is by attending couples therapy together to learn how to stay supportive, nurturing and focused on the kids.? Couples can continue to be friends after a split if they learn good communication, keep their eye on the prize, i.e. the kids, and learn how to stay positive and focus on all the good they created.

By taking active steps to manage any negative feelings you may have about your ex and the way they are managing their life after your break up you can prevent unnecessary stress for everyone involved in the situation.? It is easy to fall into a pattern of self-sabotaging and irrational behavior when confronted with an ex?s apparent ability to bounce back from your relationship break down.? However, it is important not to imagine your ex partner is either a superior human being or an evil child stealer.? All the people involved are normal, fallible humans who, with some help and support, may well be capable of setting ground rules for communication, how time is spent with the kids and how involved you all are in each other?s lives.? If all the adults involved can behave in a respectful way and use good communication to resolve potential conflicts before they escalate, it is great for the kids to see it can happen and learn from the behaviors demonstrated by their parents.

The new thing is for ex partners to be best friends, which, when you think about it, is not too hard to understand.? Who else knows someone as well as an ex partner? An ex is often well placed to identify areas where help, advice, support and encouragement is needed to make life after your relationship succeed.? Many ex partners want their old partner to be happy, confident and fulfilled and to help any new relationships work, because that provides a more stable situation for the children.? Children who watch their parents handle the dynamics of new and ex partners skillfully, are learning excellent lessons for life and their own relationships.? People who are open to listening to their ex?s advice are likely to be grounded, self-confident and capable of building a new life and new relationships based on mutual trust and respect.?? A great example to their kids.

* Please call 911 if you are experiencing a life threatening emergency and or go to the closest emergency room.

Source: http://www.drwendyschwartz.com/Los-Angeles-Marriage-and-Family-Counseling/marriage/staying-friends-with-your-ex-it-helps-the-kids-and-can-benefit-everyones-new-relationships/

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